Finding support and hope after loss

The question that saved my life. Look deeper, find strength.

by: Bronwyn D., age 17 

I am a high school student and a mental health youth advocate. Over the summer, I had an opportunity to job-shadow at an occupational therapy office. One day, an elderly patient called me over.

We made small talk. Then, abruptly, he asked if I was old enough to remember the suicide of a teenage girl that had rocked our New Jersey community in 2020. He had little idea that her death had shaped my passion for mental health advocacy. As our conversation ended, the man confidently told me, "You seem like you have your head on straight, though."

At this, I could not help but laugh. It was true that I appeared to be a proactive, sociable student. But I had faced my own struggles as well.

Warning signs of suicide

My father passed away from stage IV cancer just five months prior, infusing grief into my everyday life. Small things, like getting ready for the day instead of staying in bed— so easy for me before my father's diagnosis—seemed impossible.

The warning signs went unnoticed by even my closest friends. I felt stuck in an unending downward spiral until my mother came to my rescue. She didn’t downplay my feelings or tell me to look on the bright side. My mother offered me what others did not: empathy.

Help, hope & healing

My mother was not afraid of putting the idea of suicide into my head. She asked directly if I was thinking about suicide and responded accordingly. There is no doubt that her actions saved my life. I reached out to the Crisis Text Line, drawing from my own mental health advocacy training and my mother's steadfast support.

Many parents hesitate to reach out to their struggling teens. Perhaps they are worried about their own ignorance or pushing their teens too far. My own mom did not know exactly the right things to say or do, either. Simply offering to be there for me was enough.

Thanks to my mom, I found more than just healing on the path toward learning how to live with my grief. I found hope. And though I still don't believe my head will ever be "on straight" as the patient had suggested, my mother proved that I have someone I can count on. Now, I can move forward and be that someone for others. 

Text HOME or HOLA to 741741 for a trained crisis counselor or go to crisistextline.org.

Bronwyn D., age 17, is a contributor from the Youth Leadership Group on Youth Suicide Prevention of the American Academy of Pediatrics.